I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
