check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
