yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
