I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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