Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
