I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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