i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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