Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
BRING THE BAGELS
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
