my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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