I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
