Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
