I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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