Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
