I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
