He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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