I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
