i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
