dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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