Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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