Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
