weddingsv make me drug and hornr
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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