standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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