i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Of course I have a pirate flag
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.