the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
