Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?