I'm really into asian looking animals
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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