So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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