Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
