He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
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