if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
