That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
