yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he shaved USA in his pubs
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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