Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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