Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
