I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize