He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
