she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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