Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
