I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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