i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
