i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
