Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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