Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
