i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize