and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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