I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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