i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
