piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Green mimosas i think yes
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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