I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
