Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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