Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
