.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
