Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
