I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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