wakey wakey hands off snakey
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
