just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
