I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
