everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
