So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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