Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize