That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
