Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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