He had one of those small greek statue penises
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
