I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
