I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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