I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
