In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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