yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
